Tips for a Smooth Back to School Season

 

Well would you look at that! It’s already August!   Now I recognize that August is technically still summer, but I also remember when my kids were younger and the calendar display said 8/1,  I would immediately begin feeling antsy, anxious, and notice myself ruminating constantly about the start of school and what was ahead.  The impending demands of classes, activities and the reality of our time suddenly again belonging to some other entity would begin setting up camp in my brain.   I’m sure you’re going to be inundated with loads of articles, reels, Tik Toks and  Substacks, laying out the best schedule, plan, or method to tackle all the things that will be coming at you over the next two months.  Instead,  I’d like to offer you a bit of a pivot. I’d like you to consider three different questions to ask yourself as you begin the month of August in anticipation of the upcoming school year and what that means for you and your family. 

 

The first question is, how do I want to feel?  Now I know that sounds strange given the 75+ items already living on your to-do list that you have to manage, but I’d like you to consider this. What would it mean if you identified how you want to feel each day, each week, and each month, as you move through the end of summer and into the next school year?  When you ask yourself how you want to feel, I would like you to imagine moving through each day doing the things that you have to do, interacting with your kids, getting back to work or your other responsibilities. Think what it would be like to experience peace, to know intention, to feel calmer and more present. I know that when I’m anxious, or when I have my thoughts set on what’s to come or on a list of things I have to accomplish, then my present is always an anxious, worried version of myself.   That version of myself is who shows up and engages with my family, my practice, and my friendships. So  instead of letting all the open tabs in your brain scream at you to notice them, I’d like you to try and think about how you want to feel.  How would you like it to go? Will your body feel tense or relaxed? Will your neck and shoulders be tight or loose?  Are you breathing hurriedly or methodically? What self talk is taking up space in your brain? Is it full of grace and flexibility or is it critical and mean?   Thinking about how you want to feel will help you to prioritize and become more intentional about  how you want to show up.  When you are able to give energy to that, all the other responsibilities and demands immediately feel much more workable and manageable. 

 

The second thing I want you to ask yourself is what are the top three priorities for our family for the end of the summer moving into the school year? Now when I say priorities, that doesn’t mean tasks. I’m asking you to identify the values,  experiences, and agendas that are of most importance to you and your family. These priorities do not have to be permanent or final.  They also do not have to be the only priorities, but focusing on 3 is much more realistic than listing 5 or 10.  Naming your top three will be incredibly helpful as you move into the school year.  When I write down my own priorities, or the priorities for myself and my family, every opportunity, decision, invitation, expectation that comes my way gets placed in this formula.  Does this BLANK (commitment, practice, invitation, etc.) align with what I say my priorities are? If the answer is yes then add them to the calendar.   If the answer is no,  then you can see clearly where you need to set boundaries for yourself in your family. Now, please  understand that when you do this, this is going to disappoint some people. It may even disappoint members of your family at times, but when you are able to stay locked in to what your priorities are as a family you end up feeling less pulled in 8 million directions.   You’re then able to give energy to what you say you want to be important in your life. Getting comfortable disappointing others is a SUPERPOWER.  The more you practice it, the better your quality of life.  There are so many things as a parent and even for our kids that we are told we have to do. We are told if they want to do well they have to do these things. If they want to excel in sports they have to constantly play. If they want to be ahead academically they have to take the hardest classes. They have to do it all.  What that ends up doing is demolishing our time, our energy and our connection with one another.   Practicing and modeling setting boundaries around those obligations will not only  help you to feel less anxious, but it will be teaching your kids how to do it for themselves as well.  It’s going to help you feel more connected and feel more peace. 

 

The third and final question I want you to be asking yourself as you move through the end of summer and into the school year is how have I connected with my children and or my partner today? Because of our own anxiety as parents,we tend to make every interaction with our family a series of here’s what you have to do next, here’s what we have to go next reminders.   Have you thought about trying to get into the tougher class? Have you practiced for tryouts? Did you study enough? It becomes a series of questions, obligations, and pressure that don’t  allow for you to develop connection.  Connection is  a feeling of understanding, emotional intimacy, or kinship between people. Sometimes it’s so easy to be worried about whether  your daughter has  done her SATprep,  you don’t even know how she’s doing emotionally. What went well during her day? Who did she talk to? What made her laugh?  Was  there a particular thing that she heard that she really loved or had more interest in? Was she able to support somebody during the day? Was she able to push herself out of her comfort zone or take a risk? Creating and giving energy to connection with others is vital.  It improves self-esteem and confidence, and allows people to feel seen and validated.  As a result, anxiety is reduced. Getting intentional about connection is key to reducing opportunities for anxiety spread like weeds in a garden. 

 

The three questions are tools to guide and improve the quality of your life, but they take practice. Give yourself grace when starting, and  when you notice yourself getting to that place you want to avoid, gently redirect and remind yourself that you can get back on track and you are a work in progress.  This practice will ultimately allow these next six weeks to feel less overwhelming and more peaceful.

You’ve got this,
Megan