Communication in the Family

When we see and work with families in our practice, one of the areas where they seem to struggle the most is around communication.  Communication in a family can take on many forms. Communication takes on many forms and includes verbal and non-verbal language, gestures, facial expressions, and so much more. To truly understand communication and how we can improve on it, one must first think back to their own family of origin.  How did you communicate as a family? What were the rules (spoken and unspoken) for how you talked to one another?  Did you speak about things openly or did you avoid discussing anything? Were you measured and calm in your delivery or was the volume turned up and unpredictable?  How did your family communicate love for one another? How did you know when family members were angry?  Were the communication styles of your parents the same or different?  Taking the time to understand the answers to these questions is the foundation for growing stronger and more connected in your own family today.

Once you understand how you communicate, ask yourself if your communication style works today and in your own family.  Are you feeling connected to one another? Does everyone feel safe to express their thoughts and feelings without ridicule, invalidation, and yelling?  Healthy family communication fosters trust, strengthens bonds, and creates a nurturing environment where everyone feels valued and understood.  Assuming you are like most families, communication with one another can probably use a tune up.  Let’s look at some areas that you can make some changes below.

Emotionally Regulate

Check in and assess your mood, as well as your emotional and mental capacity for healthy communication before you begin.  If you are maxed out, table it for another time, making sure you return to the conversation.

 Practice Active Listening

This means truly hearing and understanding what the other person is saying, without interrupting or planning your response while they are speaking. It shows respect and validation for their feelings and thoughts.  Be present and be prepared to repeat back what they said so you can confirm and validate.

Practice Empathy

This means being able to put yourself in someone else’s shoes and understand their emotions and perspectives.  Imagine how they might be feeling This helps with connection and conflict resolution.

Clear and Concise Expression

Say what you need to say clearly and directly, without being passive-aggressive or expecting others to read your mind.

Maintain Respectful Tone and Language

Communicate without blaming, criticizing or being sarcastic. Don’t make faces, roll your eyes, or comment under your breath.

Non-Verbal Communication

Paying attention to body language, facial expressions, and gestures, which can convey a lot of information and emotions that often get misinterpreted and misunderstood.

Have Regular Family Meetings

Setting aside time for regular family meetings to discuss important issues, share updates, and plan activities together. This ensures everyone feels included and heard.

Know Your Conflict Resolution Skills

Developing skills to resolve conflicts in a healthy manner, such as staying calm, finding common ground, and compromising when necessary.  Flexibility goes far.

Support and Encouragement

Offering support and encouragement to each other, celebrating successes, and providing comfort during tough times.

Communication is ever changing and evolving in families.  Understanding how you communicate and how your family members best receive communication is not only emotionally responsible and kind, but also further strengthens family connection and quality of life. #Bonding

You’ve got this,

Megan