Navigating Screens
Like it or not, we live in the age of technology. We order groceries online, use a banking app to access our funds, listen to podcasts on our commute to work while our smartphones provide GPS navigation to deliver us the quickest route to our destination. We use portals to schedule our medical appointments and check our kids’ academic performance.
There is no shortage of benefits the technological world offers us. While the online world can offer many resources, entertainment, and information, it can also host a myriad of dangers to your kids. Parents are undoubtedly at the center of an epic battle between allowing your teens/kids to use their screens and desperately trying to keep them safe and secure in these spaces.
Every family has its own individual needs. While this list is not exhaustive, here are a few general guidelines to consider when determining what screen time limitations may look like for you and your family:
1. Realistic monitoring: Monitoring your child’s screens is the number one protective action you can take when navigating technology. A good rule of thumb: if you can’t monitor it, they should not be using it. However, monitoring your child’s screen can go a lot more smoothly if they understand why and expect it (which leads to our next tip!)
2. Open Communication: Have open communication with your kids/teens about the potential dangers online. Help your child learn to differentiate between healthy and unhealthy content. The more they understand about the role of safety, the more likely they will comply with parental support in those spaces.
3. Learn how to play their games rather than forbidding them: One of the best ways to monitor is to understand what they are doing while in a game/on an app/site. By playing with them, you are able to see what they see and get an idea of what they are being exposed to while simultaneously strengthening your parent-child relationship through sharing interest in something they enjoy.
4. Modeling: The power of modeling should not be underestimated. As adults, we use our screens all the time. Modeling to our children what moderation/balance looks like around your own device usage can help support their cooperation with guidelines around screens. Rules are easier to follow when they apply to the whole family (which leads us to the next tip!)
5. Family contracts: Have clear expectations with your kids about screen time regulations. Be sure to begin these conversations when they are NOT on their screens, rather when everyone is regulated and connected. Be CLEAR so everyone is on the same page as to what the limitations look like as well as consequences. Give your kids a voice in this conversation. This doesn’t mean you have to let them make determining calls on things that should be decided by parents, but a little bit of validation can go a long way in allowing your kids to feel like their opinions and feelings are heard. The more collaboration, the higher the buy-in.
6. Intentionality: We have all fallen into the doomscroll abyss. Be intentional with screen time. Help your teen plan for how they want to spend their time rather than sliding into the overstimulation of doomscrolling.
7. Practice “No Phone” time: Whether the family agrees to put phones away during dinner, an hour before bed, whenever feels right for you. Taking some time to be intentional about unplugging can do wonders for you and your family and increase feelings of connection. Aim for balance, not abstinence.
8. Incorporate more alternatives: Phones are used in large for entertainment and social connection. Schedule more alternative engaging activities like going for a hike, playing at the park, have board game nights, or making dinner as a family. Being active together strengthens family connection, promotes physical health, and combats some of the negative effects of screens.
9. Enhance Learning: Technology can be a powerful tool to promote learning. Using apps like Duolingo to learn a language or Elevate to practice problem solving, as well educational websites can help your child continue learning in a fun and engaging way.
Even in the most idealistic of settings, having these conversations and setting limits with teens can be challenging. Remember that our kids have grown up in a world where technology is also a direct connection to a lot of sociocultural belonging. Be patient and grounded when engaging in these conversations. Remember that the goal is safety and while our kids don’t have to love the limitations, adhering to them can make all the difference in the realm of safety.
Wait Until 8th
Parents, have you heard of “Wait until 8th”? This incredible initiative is setting the stage across the country with more and more parents pledging to join the movement. “Wait til 8th” is a nationwide movement to encourage parents to hold off on giving kids smart phones prior to 8th grade. Check out the website for more information on the whys behind withholding screens and learn more about taking the pledge!
Related posts
The Family Impact of Trauma and PTSD
Having had the privilege of sitting with many families over the years, I have seen firsthand the imp
Strengthening Relationships: Giving Energy to What’s Working
Ever notice how easy it is to focus on what’s not working in your relationships? As someone who’
Creating Habits with Compassion
As the hustle and bustle of the holiday season comes to a close, we often find ourselves facing t